My title is a quote from the Talmud, an ancient Jewish religious scripture. I believe that this statement sums up how we judge and often misjudge people and situations.
Think about a person or a situation and how you had made an assumption that in reflection may have been proved to be wrong. For some of us, this can be a regular daily occurrence!
The way in which we view a person or a situation is driving by our psychological preference in how we make decisions coupled with our perception. This combination drives how we evaluate what we see in a person or a situation we are faced with and this combination often gives rise to two people experiencing the same situation however perceiving it in a total different way and therefore making different decisions.
Just think about the child in the park running around making lots of noise, someone may see them as unruly and therefore dislike them whilst someone else may take joy in their youthful energy and exuberance. There is no right or wrong, just difference. This is why we favour different sport’s coaches, TV shows, pop stars and politicians and this is why, on occasions, it causes us to have heated debates with others who don’t like what we like or vice versa.
Recently I was facilitating an individual and team development programme as part of my Ngagementworks training company. I had arrived early at the hotel and went to the training room set aside for us to use. Whilst I was setting up, the hotel manager came into the room and explained that the hotel had been closed down at the weekend due to a sickness bug that had affected some of the staff and guests. The hotel had been fumigated and was passed as being clean. The hotel however had given the option for clients to either stay at the hotel or if they wanted, they could move to a sister hotel about 5 miles away where a training room had been set aside.
As a facilitator, as soon as the team arrived, I explained the above situation and left it to them to decide what they wanted to do. My perception and the decision I had made in my head was that because the hotel had been passed as clean, it was safe to stay. How wrong I was to make the assumption that they would decide to do the same!!
Recently, I put together a slideshare that explains the background to how we perceive a person or a situation and the underlying psychological that drives how we therefore come to a decision which drives our action and behaviour. Please do use the link to the slideshare as I believe you will find it of value and it will give you a much better understanding of how you and others may perceive a person or situation differently. You will also find out how and why the team made the decision they did.
How and why we make the decisions we do
Remember, there is often no right or wrong, just difference.
Wishing you continued success and happiness in both work and life.
Yours behaviourally, Nick
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